Well, shit. My mother died on Friday, May 15th. Three days before my graduation from Wake Forest. I learned about it on Saturday morning when my dad arrived on campus early and said he had to talk to me. I brushed him off because I was busy scurrying around doing last minute errands on campus. He insisted, so eventually I met up with him on the quad in front of the post office. He told me that he had gotten a call that morning from the police, who told him that an early morning walker had spotted my mother's body in Beaver Lake. Beaver Lake is a fairly large, shallow, man-made lake in North Asheville. Of course the newspapers and media were all over it because everyone wants to know the circumstances of a body being found in a lake surrounded by upper middle class homes. God, it's so crazy. What a mad world this is I keep telling myself over and over.

I'm not sure how this will affect my plans for starting job training sometime in July. I know that this next year is going to be difficult. The past few days have been full of confusion, crying, and sadness. The medical examiner told me that he will probably conclude that my mother drowned herself intentionally, but there are several parts of the scenario that do not make sense. He told me that he is conflicted - this is not your typical suicide. I don't know what to believe. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that my mom is gone without any note or explanation to me. I know she was planning to come to my graduation and was very excited and proud of me. I just do not get it. I wish I could have talked to her before this happened. It had been about a week since I last spoke to her, and I know that my last words to her were that I loved her.

We are going to have a commemorative gathering on Saturday, May 23, from 3-5 pm at West Funeral Home in Weaverville. Everyone is welcome. I'm sorry my first post in this blog is a sad one.